Monday, 1 September 2008

I know, there's a problem with your face.

So its the first of a new month. I haven't been updating this thing (and as I've yet to truly embrace "the blog" it will be know as "thing") This isn't to say I've had nothing to write, I've got plenty I want to get off my chest, but I just don't have the time. And that's not the time to write, more that when I feel a rant coming on I'm either nowhere near a PC, or nowhere near a powered up PC. And there's the time thing. I can't be bothered wasting time booting up a PC to then spend ever so long rant and raving about something or other. But now, after neglecting this "thing" for so long, I've decided to make a special, albeit disjointed, entry. As old Jack always says...what the hell.

Big Trouble in Little China. Now this film is great, a classic. I can remember staying up to watch this one night when I was in Primary school, say around age 9 -11, and discussing it at great length in the playground the next day. Even watching it today, there are still parts of it and lines I never really picked up on before. This brings me to an age old rant. How come they just don't make films like this anymore. And it covers everything. Even the old '80s horror films that picked up on video. Their equivalent to day is of a far less quality. The straight to DVD market, although gems can be found, is generally dreadful. The output of Full Moon picture with the Puppet Master films, and the films of Stuart Gordon in the '80s are still watchable today. Unlike the crap Full Moon churns out now. But I'm drifting from my point. Big Trouble, from what I read, didn't open to great success. But it still opened, and John Carpenter continued making films. So why all of a sudden have we stopped seeing this kind of film these days. Its the same with the adventure film, Which Big Trouble also kind of is. Indiana Jones existed before Big Trouble, and Romancing the Stone, and King Solomons Mines. Yet today we have The Mummy, originally a remake, and now an Indy style knock off. And National Treasure. And that's it. Where's the rest of the average Joe getting tied up in an adventure. That's whats missing from cinema. We go in, buy the tickets, buy the popcorn and sweets and drinks to consume noisily (another ongoing hate fuelled rant that one is) and we watch, and we do only watch, some guy have an adventure. Although these days the guy is either super powered, or based on a 1930's counterpart, updated "for the kids". Now I'm not saying I don't go to these films. I do, and I mostly enjoy them, but watching Big Trouble again has made me realise that you kind of relate to Jack Burton. He's just a guy trying to get his winnings from his old pal and gets dragged into the ancient Chinese sorcery. He doesn't even get the girl at the end. He could have, but he doesn't because he has a life outside of the film. He can't just shack up with Kim Cattrall. He's got his job. He's caught up with his buddy, now its time to get back to reality, back to the 9 to 5. Just like us when we leave the cinema or turn off the DVD.

Real life heroes. That's what I want to see more of. Actually I'd like to see more of Jack Burton. I don't mind if they made a sequel to Big Trouble. I'm sure it would go down well now the films has DVD success. And why can't we catch up with ol' Jack. What scrapes does he find himself in further down the road. It's either this, or Hollywood will remake it. Just like they're remaking Robocop. Now why the hell are they doing that. To reboot the franchise. To update it for the kids. To give them a chance to see it, having not grown up with it. Hey Hollywood, I didn't grow up in the 1940's but I still think Abbott & Costello are ace. Or are you going to start remaking those now. Why else can you get all this stuff on DVD, why else have 5 million TV channels. If you haven't seen Robocop go out and rent a copy. Hell, buy a copy. It's that good. All remaking these films is going to do is piss off a lot of people with a load of CGI crap, that no matter how many times your tell me how good it looks, it never really does. I'm sure these guys cry themselves to sleep with all the lies they've told about how amazing there CG looks. They did convince Mr Lucas though. So they should cry, blame them for Jar Jar, among many other randomly flying creatures. CG does work sometimes. Buildings and backgrounds for example. But really, just build the thing, you can touch up with CG later, but at least have something. Especially if a real life person has to touch it. Common sense people.

After a major digression I'll wrap this up. Big Trouble in Little China is a great film. Better than Congo I'd say, definitely. This is what I want to see more of. More average guys taking on the world, and by average guys I don't mean teenagers. Or thirty year olds pretending to be teenagers. Just an average guy. Like you. Or me.

Look out for future blogs:

Neil Marshal: The next John Carpenter? and Why are all the best new Horror films foreign.

(Please note I have neither a problem with subtitles or foreigners. It's just a truthful observation.)

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